I Am Ashamed

I am ashamed of my lack of trust, my lack of desire for You.

I am ashamed for loving other gods before You.

I am ashamed of my emptiness despite telling everyone I am a Christian.

I am ashamed of looking for comfort and fulfilment in a person instead of a Person.

I am ashamed of trusting Google and self-meditations instead of prayer.

I am ashamed that the only cure for my heart is him, when it should be You.

I am ashamed of my lack of faith.

I am ashamed to admit that You are not enough.

I listened to Dr. Charles Stanley’s message: God’s Answer for the Empty Heart. Jesus passed by Sychar and talked to a woman who had 5 husbands. The woman longed for the living water because she felt empty inside. Just like me, she tried to find happiness in relationships. Jesus did not condemn her for having had 5 husbands. Instead, he stated her emptiness and told her why she was still thirsty. I am thirsty because I keep on looking for satisfaction and contentment in relationships. You’ve been dipping in the wrong well, you’re back where you were, trying to get satisfaction in the old well that you thought would satisfy you. All you do is get a double thirst finding water in the wrong well.

Imagine yourself being so thirsty and here’s a bottle of cold mineral water, and then there’s the ocean. The ocean is wide. This is where you are drinking water. There’s an abundant source of sea water, but no matter how much you drink from it, you’ll get even more thirsty..to the point of dehydration and death. This is what you are doing Richel. Stop drinking yourself to death in the wrong water.

There is no disappointment in Jesus. Not a single one.

Not one of all the LORD’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled. – Joshua 21:45

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