I have been praying for my future girls. I don’t know who they are and honestly, I am anxious (and not in a good way) to meet them. I dislike the thought of having to drag myself religiously to meet them regularly, to invest in them in time and in money. That means less free time for myself to bum around. That means I have to socialize more. I am afraid of the responsibility it entails, how heavy it is, how I will be partly accountable to God for their spiritual growth, and how I have to be even more careful with my testimony. I don’t know how God will equip me, how my personality of being an introvert will come into play, and how it could be a strength. I know that I am perfectly made – introvert and picky with people – and I know that there are strengths that God can and will use. I am not perky or warm or friendly but I listen intently and hopefully, it will be something my future girls would find sincere in me.
I have been praying for them for months now, though not daily. I have been praying that they be teachable and available. I don’t even need them to be kind, just teachable and available to learn.
I felt like it was so timely on how I read Matthew 8:18-22 last Tuesday at the prayer room and decided to focus on those verses instead of the story of the leper. Today, I thoroughly studied it and realized that it was about discipleship – two kinds of potential disciples of Jesus – too fast and too slow.
Unlike the scribe, I have counted the costs and have listed them above. Maybe I have been counting the costs for far too long and have not been willing to obey for the longest time. But now I have stopped counting the costs, and am ready to follow.
Like the disciple, I have things in disorder still. I am a work in progress, but I will not delay following Jesus, because He is Lord and he told me to follow Him first.
I must say that I am blown away at this perfect timing and revelation. It’s December 31, 12:49 am, I am praying for the future girls to be entrusted under my care for 2016 and the verses just all connected together. Studying the verses yesterday were perfect for my assignment next year. This can’t be a coincidence.
To God be all the glory.