I have not forgotten you

“Please pray for Gee, a new girl assigned to my dgroup. Please pray that she’ll be responsive. :)” – Hope’s text to me this morning.

Am I not ready?

On December 31, 2015, I blogged about how God has impressed upon me my 2016 assignment of starting a dgroup. I wrote how my quiet time pointed strongly to this year’s goal. I’ve been praying for my future downline for months and even have 2016 goals for them. And though my social skills need to be overhauled in order to effectively lead one, I surrendered this to God.

Hope and I have the same dgroup availability schedule, and yet, why is she getting more and more girls, and I haven’t? The parable of the talents came to my mind, where the master gave to each servant according to his ability.

I asked God, “Am I not ready? Don’t I have that “ability”? I am stepping out of my comfort zone because you told me to. Surely You know how uncomfortable I am with the idea of discipleship.

I told myself, the 2016 assignment was for the entire year, which means that even if I get a downline on the very last day of 2016, it’s still part of 2016, and God would still be true to His Word.

I felt God telling me, “I have not forgotten you.”

I wanted to make sure this was God talking to me and not myself, so I tried to recall a verse, but only what I read this morning came to mind: May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight (Psalm 19:14). I shrugged off my negative thoughts because my distrust in God is not pleasing in His sight.

God answered through a motorcycle accident

Three hours after emoting to Jesus, one of our employees who was in a bad motorcycle accident last December came knocking in our office. The accident was so bad that he was unconscious for a day or so, accumulated fluid in his lungs, had a tube inserted through his chest so he could breathe, and had a broken rib. His motorcycle was so squashed that it could no longer be salvaged or repaired.

He profusely thanked my mom for the company shouldering a part of his quickly growing hospital bill in a private hospital. He was later on transferred to PGH where he paid almost nothing except for the P6,000 ambulance fee.

He shared with us how God restored him through his and his family’s prayers. “Dinaan ko lang sa dasal, umiiyak na ako”, I relied only on prayer, I was crying. My mom asked him if he attends the company Bible studies held twice a month. He said he was only able to attend one class because he is always deployed to different projects, but that he is reading his Bible and he is already in page 10. My mom gave him a Tagalog Bible so that he can better understand it.

“I have not forgotten you.”

This is the difference between how God is using me and Hope.

Hope doesn’t have the same opportunities and privileges like I do. She cannot organize company-wide Bible studies. She has to wait for a girl to be formally assigned to her. I have an entire “catch” at our workplace that needs spiritual feeding.

I am blessed, humbled, privileged, of how God has planted so many seeds in the hearts of our employees. I have seen many subtle and not so subtle changes in their lives that are also trickling down to their families.

Two different ways of working for Jesus.

God reminded me, “I have not forgotten you.”

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