First of, thank you for restoring our relationship. I feel better now.
Today, I went to two events. First was a dgroup event with Ef. It was ok but When Hope, Ef and Marianne are together, they are just so loud I can’t stand it. And they are so different from me. But there’s really no perfect group. But I am also stressed at extremely extroverted people.
The second event was a surprise birthday for Mia, where her friend got angry because I was late… he’s not really a “kind” person but I guess he just really loves Mia as a good friend. I was tempted to bite back but I was reminded to do good to everyone as you have commanded.
The night was fun because we played board games and had burgers for dinner. However, I found myself out of place, hurt and teary-eyed because I am a Christian. Their jokes were mostly green – around 70%. I found myself awkwardly faking smiles and being quiet. I also realized how truly narrow the road is to heaven. People don’t know you, don’t find the need for you and they are merrily living their lives. And I, on the other hand, am living a sheltered life surrounded by believers. I have been sheltered for so long that I no longer know how to interact with the unsaved.
I cried a bit driving home as I contemplated their spiritual lives. Dead. And I saw where they are headed. I prayed for them. And I wanted to go out and share You. If everyone has a “sickness/emptiness” how come You are not always the automatic answer? How come people have a hard time believing in you? How come I am corny? Kill joy? How do I share the gospel if I cannot socialize with them properly?
When I got home, I told Hope how I felt.
And I also wished I had someone to share how I feel right now. And he would comfort me. But more than that, someone who would have the same burden or be my partner in ministering. I would be less alone in this walk with You.
Open doors for me to share your good news. And help me and my girls to share your word in 2017, passionately.
In Jesus name,