When I remember all the romantic things he did for me, I die a little inside.
He was the most romantic person. We both were. But I don’t want to reminisce them because even as I type this my eyes are watering because I miss him and having him and being with him and being his.
So I’ll tuck those memories inside me and try to slay these beasts, as I have been doing so daily in the past three years. Hopefully one day, they no longer remind me of who left me.
Though I say that God is enough – and He is – my heart longs to be swept away again and belong to someone. But I don’t want any whirlwind romance. I am praying for someone who would love me enough not just to marry me, but to love me daily afterwards. Not just in little and grand romantic gestures, but in the way he would protect me, pray for me, lead me. I hope the next would give his everything, keep his word, respect me and honor me. I hope to have unconditional love and the best kind of friendship. I hope it is filled with laughter and fun. A love marked with selflessness and honesty. Even when circumstances are pressing in, he would still choose to stay – and the thought of losing me will not even cross his mind.
I hope it’s a kind of love that pushes me closer and closer to Christ.