Love, I just wanted to say sorry for the hurtful things I’ve said that’s burned in your head. Should the pain be too much to handle, I would understand if you decide to leave me for good. I know I’ve messed up. Please forgive me.

You are right that I have considered giving up because I get tired sometimes. But it wasn’t a decision I wanted, it was something I was contemplating and praying about. And so I’m sorry I feel this way at times.

I know my mistakes. Of how much I expect you to be this perfect man I envision instead of journeying with you towards that. I’m sorry because I wanted a finished product, when I’m far from perfect anyway. But thank you for the grace you show me each day. I’ve been unhappy because I kept comparing you to my unrealistic standards only Jesus can really reach.

You always tell me that you feel like you don’t deserve me and I’ve never replied because I felt that it was true to an extent. But tonight, I realized that it’s the opposite. You love me unconditionally in ways I don’t know is humanly possible. You are so patient with me and you even brought me to my car even if we’re officially “on a break”. I don’t deserve you and tonight I prayed that if you’re better off with someone else then may God take you from me and give you to someone else.

But I still hope that I get to marry you.

Talking to you tonight reminded me how opposite we are and how suitable we are. And I hope you saw that too.


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